Moving Beyond Blame, Fighting, and Enmeshment
When couples come to therapy their yearnings for intimacy are usually hidden behind resentments and power struggles making them feel hopeless and disconnected and stuck in reactive interactions. At times infidelity is yet another occurrence. You are trapped in an impasse, in vicious cycles of reactivity, you feel misunderstood, mistreated, drained, and alone. It’s time to schedule a session.
Couples therapy is probably at the center of my work as a therapist. Trained at the world-renowned Ackerman Institute for the Family I had the privilege of learning from and working alongside the most accomplished masters/professionals in the field. I have developed a unique approach- an integrative approach to psychotherapy- one that is influenced by my background as well as by the wide variety of clinical and research-supported therapies.
Every couple has a relationship script: a story about how and why they came together and what they expect from each other. However, over time, we change, and new challenges come up, with some we’ve dealt with more effectively than others. Often we miss the warning signs. As time goes by intimacy gets buried under a cascade of complaints, resentments, and power struggles. Through the course of therapy, I will offer you the opportunity to build a new understanding of your relationship one that will help you move forward. I support couples in discovering ways to maintain a healthy balance between
independence and togetherness and learn new skills to make love last.
In our therapy sessions, you will come to understand underlying beliefs, attitudes, and individual differences that trigger and sustain your problems. I will help you step away from your anger and defensiveness into effective ways of communicating. Our mutual goal is that both of you feel heard and understood.
I will work with you and motivate you to de-escalate interactions, dissipate defensiveness, translate resentments into narratives of wishes and yearnings, and through this process engage the partners in constructive dialogue and negotiations. We will consider your family of origin, help you understand old wounds, and try to heal them. I will help you to identify who you want to be, and how you want your relationship to look like.
My goal is not to pathologize, or blame but to help you reach for your best self. My goal is to leave you with “tools” and new ways of communicating that will allow you to successfully manage your conflicts, promote de-escalations, increase self-awareness, deepen your intimacy, and share your life purpose.
.
